•8:18 PM
Last week, Things 2, 3, & 4 had a dental check-up. There were lots of cavities involved, but this is not news. However, the end of the visit was unsettling. This was a pediatric dentistry office, so all of the kids (except Alysia) were seen in separate rooms without parents. The dentist came in and said, "Aiden's teeth look great - I can tell he takes good care of them. But I'd like you to take a look at his x-ray." (This was his first.) I had a feeling this isn't something you want to hear from your child's dentist. I was right.
As I was looking at it and beginning to process what I was seeing, my mind was reeling. 90% of what I see looks just like any other kid's dental x-ray: baby teeth sitting on big white squares of adult teeth. Except his top front teeth. There's one big white square adult front tooth, and where the other one should be, there are two big front teeth turned sideways and wedged in there. AAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!! Apparently this is very common, and it's fairly simple to fix. Once the baby tooth pops out and the extra tooth starts to drop, they just pull it. Then the real tooth can start to shift and drop. Occasionally the child will need orthodontic work to get the tooth to straighten completely. Intellectually I realize this is not at all a big deal. But there is something so disconcerting about looking at your perfect, beautiful, healthy child and then being shown something so completely abnormal hiding right under the surface.
For some reason, this was a hard thing for me to accept - my gorgeous baby boy isn't perfect. I'm not sure why it affected me so much - both Things 1 & 2 have reading glasses, flat feet, and other indications of less-than-perfection. Perhaps it's because it's Aiden - my baby boy.
Before I had children, I didn't believe any parents who said they didn't have a favorite child. I mean, we are all human beings who get along with some people better than others. But it turns out they were telling the truth. I don't have a favorite either. Each of them have unique personalities with some qualities I enjoy and some that irk me. But they are all awesome in their own way.
However, there is something different and special about the bonds between mothers and sons (just like fathers and daughters). I hypothesize that it's because I'm having the opportunity to love all of the attributes and features I love in my husband, only in miniature form. And because as a woman, I have intimate knowledge of the challenges my daughters will face, but I also know they will face them with courage and tenacity, because I'm doing it.
But my son... To raise this beautiful boy with his humor, his energy, his innocence and send him off out into the cruel world to be toughened up and hurt and go on to bear the responsibility of supporting a family... It's too much for a mother's heart to bear.
My sister-in-law commiserated with my distress, saying that she had redefined perfection. That is very wise. Even in the Bible, where we are told to be "perfect" - the original word intended there means complete or whole - it does not mean 'without flaw'. I've embraced this perspective in other areas of life, mostly to retain my sanity. Perfection is no longer three gourmet meals each day served in a pristine, expensively furnished house by a size 2 wife and mother who never raises her voice. Perfection is complete love, complete joy, and all of the work it takes to get both. It is loud and messy and funny, exhausting and exhilarating. Perfect.
As I was looking at it and beginning to process what I was seeing, my mind was reeling. 90% of what I see looks just like any other kid's dental x-ray: baby teeth sitting on big white squares of adult teeth. Except his top front teeth. There's one big white square adult front tooth, and where the other one should be, there are two big front teeth turned sideways and wedged in there. AAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!! Apparently this is very common, and it's fairly simple to fix. Once the baby tooth pops out and the extra tooth starts to drop, they just pull it. Then the real tooth can start to shift and drop. Occasionally the child will need orthodontic work to get the tooth to straighten completely. Intellectually I realize this is not at all a big deal. But there is something so disconcerting about looking at your perfect, beautiful, healthy child and then being shown something so completely abnormal hiding right under the surface.
For some reason, this was a hard thing for me to accept - my gorgeous baby boy isn't perfect. I'm not sure why it affected me so much - both Things 1 & 2 have reading glasses, flat feet, and other indications of less-than-perfection. Perhaps it's because it's Aiden - my baby boy.
However, there is something different and special about the bonds between mothers and sons (just like fathers and daughters). I hypothesize that it's because I'm having the opportunity to love all of the attributes and features I love in my husband, only in miniature form. And because as a woman, I have intimate knowledge of the challenges my daughters will face, but I also know they will face them with courage and tenacity, because I'm doing it.
But my son... To raise this beautiful boy with his humor, his energy, his innocence and send him off out into the cruel world to be toughened up and hurt and go on to bear the responsibility of supporting a family... It's too much for a mother's heart to bear.
|
1 comments:
perfection: to be complete. thank you for touching my soul this saturday afternoon, this is definitely something i have been learning a lot about lately in my life.